he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
