He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
