Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
