Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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