I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
