Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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