You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
bring money and cleavage
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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