Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
