At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
