Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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