"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we're so committed to being not committed
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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