I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
