so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
