Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
