literally had 100 drinks last night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
