Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
