i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
