I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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