When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
