Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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