I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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