she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
