why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
