dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
