Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need moral support for this bender
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
