i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
