If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
