If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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