Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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