All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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