I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
