I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
