so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
His hands were made for my vagina.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
