Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
