I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
why do cheetos always look like penises
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
