the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
