What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
