hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
