How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
