DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
