apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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