This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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