They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
