Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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