I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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