Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
