There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
