I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
