Who wears a wallet chain?!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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