i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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