Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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