So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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