Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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