I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He has the fingertips of a God
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