I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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